Oooh, hooray. Kreative Blogger Award. Thank you, screwed up creative kreativ brain for giving me all of these effed up dreams to blog about.
Laura, at Catharsis, gave me this award (she is just SHOWERING me with love these days, people. I’m starting to get worried that she’s buttering me up, so she can ask me for a big favor one of these days soon…like disposing of random human pinky toes, or holding on to a sealed box that occasionally moves, and emits muffled sounds, and I’ll be obliged to say yes).
But, I wouldn’t just say yes solely because of the awards she bestows. Her blog is witty, relevant and even though it is a “mom blog”, it isn’t one of those that makes you want to stab a fork through your epidermis, and all the way through the muscle, until it pierces you in the uterus, ensuring that it will never be possible for you to turn into that kind of person. Nope. She just seems like a regular person who also happens to have children. I like that, because it gives me hope that someday that will be possible for me, as well. Also, because when I talk to her, or read her posts, I don’t have to suppress the urge to punch her in the teeth. Note: If you are wondering whether or not you may be one of those parents that make others willing to knock out their own choppers, check out the blog, Shut The Fuck Up Parents. It’s hilarious, and it doesn’t knock parents or parenthood, only pokes fun at the overly obnoxious and self-absorbed parental behaviors.
The rules of the award are this: I must reveal seven things about myself and pass it along to ten other deserving bloggers. Sidebar: This blogging requires a lot more revealing than I anticipated. I’m starting to question why I let most of my family members know that I have started one.
1. I loathe when words aren’t spelled correctly. Yes, I do it sometimes, but it drives me insane. SPELL CORRECTLY. USE SPELL CHECK. I know that if I spelled something wrong, it’s because I didn’t edit well enough. “Kreativ” absolutely sort of makes me itch bugs me even though it is in the form of an award. For shame.
2. I once broke up with a guy, mostly because when we went on a 9 mile hike, he couldn’t keep up (don’t girls usually pack too heavy?) and couldn’t see the paint marks on the trees, and I refused to slow down. I didn’t want to get eaten by a bear. I need my man to be afraid of getting chewed on by bears as much as I am stronger than that.
3. One of my ex-boyfriend’s got deported. After he cheated on me. More info goes here but family reads this (see above). Imagine the worst things you can. He later tried to friend me on Facebook. Really? What is wrong with people? (In case you are worried, don’t be, my husband is not at all a douche, like 2 or 3.)
4. I once went to my doctor thinking maybe I had ear wax build up (a coworker once told me she couldn’t hear out of one ear, went to the doctor and just had to get her earwax cleaned out, and could hear perfectly, so it made sense to me). But, I had none, and then went in for a hearing test. Turns out I am just so allergic to my cat that it affects my hearing. I also cough and itch at my eyeballs. But, I just take asthma meds, inhalers, prescription eye drops, and tell people to SPEAK UP, because I love my cat too much to get rid of him (NEVER!). Even though he pees on my carpet sometimes.
5. When I was younger, there was a neighbor dog, that wandered all over the place, that I was terrified of. I used to walk around with a baseball bat in my arms, in case it attacked me. I still kind of hate dogs.
6. Rocky and Bullwinkle is the best cartoon, ever. 
7. I have a new job idea. I’m going to pitch it soon. Wish me luck. Also, wish me luck in having a job I can stay in, for more than 3 years. I refuse to do something I don’t love. I’m not sure if I’m being too picky, but…why stick around in one spot if you aren’t sure? Would I change my tune if I made 6 figures? Who knows? I have a large resume.
Enough about me, here are some other fantastic bloggers (in no particular order) that you should absolutely check out!
Mouthy Barber Mom: My Encounters With Stupidity
Happy reading!
A Morning Grouch 
I just tried to “like” this post be my phone is being a douche and won’t allow the screen to appear properly. Thank you so much for the mention. I’m glad you like my blog.
I love reading yours. Please never stop.
Dontcha hate when phones are acting bastardly? Congrats on the OTHER award you just won!
Ha ha! I’m so glad you also detest misspellings. I felt the same way but kept my big mouth shut because I thought it would just be me complaining about the spelling of the award and that would piss people off and I’ve reached my people-pissing-off quota for the week. But really, I felt the same, and I LOVE the title of this post! Also, I’m glad I don’t make you want to stab yourself all the way through to your uterus. Cuz not only would that be painful, but that would mean my blog were EVEN MORE painful. And I’ve read blogs that make me want to self-amputate something, so I don’t want to be THAT. BLOGGER.
Too true, there are some blogs that make me want to rip out my eyeball with a spoon.
I also live with animals I’m highly allergic to. Nasal spray, daily meds, air purifier, and so on. They just don’t seem appreciative enough, though.
Thank you for the mention! I’m enjoying looking through the others, as well.
Maybe peeing on carpet is a misunderstood sign of appreciation.
As always, loved your post! Thank you so much for the shout-out!
My pleasure!
I am so damned sorry, I forgot to say congratulations on your award! And one of these days, just for you, I’ll do a blog with my own brand of creative spelling. Meant for laughs.
http://thebrightyellowballoon.blogspot.com/2011/10/totally-for-fun.html
Just for you.
Oh. My. Goodness. Itchy…..but so impressed.
Hey, that’s me! THANKS!! 🙂
Of course! You rock.
Congratulations on the award, even if it makes you itch. I can get you some cream for that if you want.
And so much for the love!
I’m always in the market for drugs that help with my
mentalillnesses.What a funny, informative post. My husband would have gotten eaten by a bear if you’d even gotten him onto the trail in the first place. I admire your principles.
At least your husband had the sense not to get on the trail. It’s good to know your own strengths and shortcomings, as well as the person’s you are with!
Congratulations on the award, even if it’s misspelled!
My cat used to piss on my bed and I kept him for 5 years.
What did you do to him after 5 years?! Or should be afraid to ask…
Thanks for the shout out!
Im loving your blog….always gives me a giggle when I need it 🙂
Thanks! Loving yours, too.
Rocky and Bullwinkle? Really are the best cartoon ever. And spelling mistakes are always strange, because I assume everybody has computers that automatically check those things!
I’m just excited to learn that you can be hired to dispose of human pinky toes. I was wondering what to do with my big jarful. AND Kongradulashuns on Yore uhward toodae.
you’re killing me.
Congratulations to you, and I’m very excited to check out these other blogs. Blogs with great names like those are bound to be good!
It was fun learning more about you. Same here w/ the pets and hearing loss! Although there’s more to it for me, but still. Hearing loss sucks!
Right?! Can’t wait to “hear” more about your experiences.
I want to know why “kids these days” spell things incorrectly on purpose. Also? Why do they tYpE LYk ThiS?
ACK.
Right?! And why the extra letters? AweSSoMmmmE