Dating my husband was fun, especially when things started to get serious. We used to talk on the phone for hours, sharing our thoughts and our fears and our pasts with one another. We met early for breakfast and we gave each other loving glances over our coffee cups, soaking up each other’s good looks. We stayed up late watching movies in bed, cuddling close, … Continue reading Marriage Isn’t Always Fun (And That’s Okay)
After the holidays most of us are familiar with the post-celebratory letdown. The saying goodbye to the getting together, the laughing, the gaming, the feasting. The saying hello to the unpacking, the de-tagging, the washing-drying-folding-and-putting-awaying. The uncomfortable realization that our pants are now one size too tight (or in my case, TWO sizes too tight, since I went into December already a size overboard). Most people are ready to … Continue reading Sometimes Being a Cob-Rolling Gluttonous Pig is the Best Way to Say I Love You
There’s so much work involved in just pretending to look like being a functional adult, it’s common to feel over-worked and under-appreciated. There’s a lot of aspects to adult life that really suck. Taking care of the bills, the trash, the dirty dishes, the piles of laundry. Cleaning up messes, picking up toys, and wiping up spills. Filling out the never-ending-Godforsaken work forms, the relentless (and often … Continue reading Marriage: It’s All About Teamwork (With a Dash of Competition)
My daughters come from a long line of strong-willed individuals. Before they were born Mr. Grouch and I wondered what our kids would look like, or what they would be interested in, but one thing we knew for sure. They’d be headstrong. Our girls have aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents, and, lucky for them, great-grandparents too, who are full of strength, who say to themselves, “I will … Continue reading We’re Full of Bull
When we first fall in love, we notice only the admirable qualities our partner possesses. Mother Nature has watched many a fool, in the beginning stages of a relationship, believe they have found True Perfection, and she has laughed her ass off each and every time at such naiveté. True Perfection in human character is nothing more than a fond illusion; for every superior quality, … Continue reading Spouses: If They’re Really Good At One Thing, They Really Suck At Something Else
During the honeymoon phase, relationships are easy. They are all adventure and excitement and newness. But as the years wear on, the excitement dies down and reality sets in. Here are some tips to ensure that you are giving your spouse what he or she needs, so the two of you can make it for the long haul. 1. Schedule your sexy time. Instead of … Continue reading 10 Tips For Sustaining A Long-Lasting Marriage
In 8th or 9th grade, I remember a light switch going off. Click. I was no longer the goofy, somewhat naively happy teen who thought making silly faces was hilarious and who loved sports more than anything. Suddenly I was angry. I was angry with society and I was angry with my parents and I was angry with my friends. I remember getting mad … Continue reading Angry is Easier
How to pick a mate – from the fairer sex perspective. 1) Pick someone bigger than you. It doesn’t matter what size you are, it matters how big you are compared to the person next to you. If you are 4′ 8″ and 79 lbs, you pick someone who’s at least 5′ 2″ and you’re good. If you’re 6′ 3″ and 330 lbs, go for … Continue reading 10 Key Pointers For Picking A Mate
I have vivid memories of Mr. Grouch, in his college apartment, during muggy summer months. I can picture him, stripped down to his whitie tighties, sprawled across his twin bed, with the oscillating fan one centimeter from his toes, the soggy air leaving him too lethargic to move. A sexy, sweaty, beast. The two of us are different in so many ways but in this way we are oh so much … Continue reading Parenting: Reasons to Panic #2: The Sleeping Newborn
A Morning Grouch 