Izzint Bloggeen Grate?

Oooh, hooray.  Kreative Blogger Award.  Thank you, screwed up creative kreativ brain for giving me all of these effed up dreams to blog about.

Laura, at Catharsis, gave me this award (she is just SHOWERING me with love these days, people.  I’m starting to get worried that she’s buttering me up, so she can ask me for a big favor one of these days soon…like disposing of random human pinky toes, or holding on to a sealed box that occasionally moves, and emits muffled sounds, and I’ll be obliged to say yes).

But, I wouldn’t just say yes solely because of the awards she bestows.  Her blog is witty, relevant and even though it is a “mom blog”, it isn’t one of those that makes you want to stab a fork through your epidermis, and all the way through the muscle, until it pierces you in the uterus, ensuring that it will never be possible for you to turn into that kind of person.  Nope.  She just seems like a regular person who also happens to have children.  I like that, because it gives me hope that someday that will be possible for me, as well.  Also, because when I talk to her, or read her posts, I don’t have to suppress the urge to punch her in the teeth.  Note:  If you are wondering whether or not you may be one of those parents that make others willing to knock out their own choppers, check out the blog, Shut The Fuck Up Parents. It’s hilarious, and it doesn’t knock parents or parenthood, only pokes fun at the overly obnoxious and self-absorbed parental behaviors.

The rules of the award are this: I must reveal seven things about myself and pass it along to ten other deserving bloggers.  Sidebar:  This blogging requires a lot more revealing than I anticipated.  I’m starting to question why I let most of my family members know that I have started one.

1.  I loathe when words aren’t spelled correctly.  Yes, I do it sometimes, but it drives me insane.  SPELL CORRECTLY.  USE SPELL CHECK.  I know that if I spelled something wrong, it’s because I didn’t edit well enough.  “Kreativ”  absolutely sort of makes me itch bugs me even though it is in the form of an award.  For shame.

2.  I once broke up with a guy, mostly because when we went on a 9 mile hike, he couldn’t keep up (don’t girls usually pack too heavy?) and couldn’t see the paint marks on the trees, and I refused to slow down.  I didn’t want to get eaten by a bear.   I need my man to be afraid of getting chewed on by bears as much as I am stronger than that.

3.  One of my ex-boyfriend’s got deported.  After he cheated on me.  More info goes here but family reads this (see above).  Imagine the worst things you can.  He later tried to friend me on Facebook.  Really?  What is wrong with people?  (In case you are worried, don’t be, my husband is not at all a douche, like 2 or 3.)

4.   I once went to my doctor thinking maybe I had ear wax build up (a coworker once told me she couldn’t hear out of one ear, went to the doctor and just had to get her earwax cleaned out, and could hear perfectly, so it made sense to me).  But, I had none, and then went in for a hearing test. Turns out I am just so allergic to my cat that it affects my hearing.  I also cough and itch at my eyeballs.  But, I just take asthma meds, inhalers, prescription eye drops, and tell people to SPEAK UP, because I love my cat too much to get rid of him (NEVER!).  Even though he pees on my carpet sometimes.

5.  When I was younger, there was a neighbor dog, that wandered all over the place, that I was terrified of.  I used to walk around with a baseball bat in my arms, in case it attacked me.  I still kind of hate dogs.

6.  Rocky and Bullwinkle is the best cartoon, ever. 

7.  I have a new job idea.  I’m going to pitch it soon.  Wish me luck.  Also, wish me luck in having a job I can stay in, for more than 3 years. I refuse to do something I don’t love.  I’m not sure if I’m being too picky, but…why stick around in one spot if you aren’t sure?   Would I change my tune if I made 6 figures?  Who knows?  I have a large resume.

Enough about me, here are some other fantastic bloggers (in no particular order) that you should absolutely check out!

Yea.  Good Times.

Handflapping

Mouthy Barber Mom:  My Encounters With Stupidity

The Bright Yellow Balloon

Bellace85

Awkward Engineer

I’m Not Really A Barista

When Did I Become A Knitter

Adamotomy

Cannibalistic Nerd

Happy reading!

Proof That Not Only My Mother Reads My Blog. And, This Other Person LIKES It.

Oh, lucky me!  Laura, at Catharsis, has chosen to honor me with The Versatile Blogger Award.  Don’t tell my grandma, she’ll get the story confused and start telling everyone she knows that I won a Pulitzer.

Rules for accepting the award include showcasing the award on my blog (see above), linking back to the person who awarded me with the award (click!  Laura’s blog is great) and revealing 5 things about myself to y’all, that you might not know.  So here it goes:

1.  My belly button is an outie.  Which is fine.  We don’t all need identical belly buttons, do we?  Apparently, my pediatrician felt we all should.  He thought it would be a genius idea to try shoving a cotton all against it and taping it, in a vain attempt to make it an innie.   They tried this until I was over a year old before giving up on that idea.  Really?

2. I have very sensitive teeth.  I buy prescription toothpaste from the dentist.

3.  I illegally got a tattoo when I was in high school, at age 17.  It isn’t really much to look at, but it means something to me, so I like it, a lot.  When my dad found out a) He was beyond pissed, b) He poked the tattooed area with a straight pin and asked me if that was what it felt like when I got it.

4. Last winter I got 6 sinus infections.  That is one record I am not trying to beat this year.

5. When I was 2 or 3, I was in a “Mid-Michigan” Commercial. They didn’t actually get consent from my parents and my babysitter noticed I was on T.V. I think my parents could have gotten a lot of money out of this situation, but all we got was a VHS copy of the commercial.

Naturally, I have to pass this along to 5 of my favorite bloggers, which you should absolutely check out!  And, when you do, be sure to leave a comment, to let them know you stopped by.  Wordpress also has a “like” feature.  Handy for when the cat’s got your tongue.

1.  Reading (and Chickens):  Seriously, go check her out.  Go now.  Her little eclectic blurbs are witty and entertaining.  And, even though “reading” is in her blog name, she actually uses drawings to accompany her text.  To illustrate her points, so to speak.

2. Rosie Says:  This is a phenomenal chick.  Her blog examines gender equity, media portrayal of.gender roles and all things equality.  Hopefully she doesn’t take offense to me calling her, “chick”.  Good stuff.

3.  The Greenery:  A Garden Blog with ADHD.  I may have a black thumb, but I can still appreciate the gardening tips, beautiful photos of plants and posts about writing, traveling, history, and Otis the cat.  Versatile, indeed.

4.  Seeking Sanity, Somewhat:   A woman’s blog about her life, and her search for sanity.  Categories include alcohol, anxiety, yoga and “death fucking sucks ass”.  Can you say relatable?

5. CraftWhack:  A creative genius with a wicked sense of humor.

Happy Reading!

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