Dream #1:

I AM Gwyneth Paltrow (this is the first time I have been someone other than myself in a dream).  I am 7 months pregnant, with skinny, pale arms and a large protruding belly.  I am addicted to a non-existent drug and am living in a huge house with dozens of other homeless people.  We each have a sleeping bag and a few scavenged items and are all camped out in a large, open room. Naturally, there is a treadmill in this house, so I am running constantly (in between drug usage).  The belly doesn’t bother me, it is hard as a rock.  To survive, I steal food items, warm clothing and other necessities.

Analysis:

GWYNETH: I was disappointed to find that none of the dream dictionaries mentioned Gwyneth directly.

ARMS:  In my dream I/Gwyneth have pale, smooth, hairless arms (opposed to my more gorilla-like appendages) and according to the Way of Tao, her arms might represent my responsibilities.  However, if her arm is dysfunctional, that could mean I need to let go of something I have been holding on to.  Hm.  My first analysis and already I’m confused.  I mean, does dysfunctional mean the arm doesn’t work properly?  Or does it mean it isn’t mine?  And to let go of something could mean to literally stop carrying such a gigantic purse or it could mean to stop obsessing about my incredibly thick arm hair, right?  I need someone to provide me with a definition of the definition.

DRUGS:  According to Dream Moods, the drug usage indicates that I could want a quick fix to my problems or that I need an escape from reality.  I am pretty sure that is what it means it you take drugs.  You know, when you actually inject them into your veins, or inhale the smoke into your lungs, or pop the little beauties into your mouth, in real life.   I thought the dream interpretation was supposed to shed some light, illuminate something new.

HOMELESS:  Dream Moods also tells me that my/Gwyneth’s homelessness indicates I am feeling insecure.  Psh.  But, it says nothing about a homeless person who owns a treadmill.

PREGNANT:  Finally, some good news.  Dream Forth informs me that my (notice in this reference, it is solely ME, no Gwyneth) pregnancy means I am undergoing significant growth and development in my personal life.  Clearly there IS some truth to this dream interpretation business.

THEFT:  Dream Forth started out so positively.  Then, one quick search and suddenly there is a void in my life or I am reaching for unrealistic objectives.  I/Gwyneth was hungry.  I/She stole food.  Problem solved.  No need to be so pessimistic, Dream Forth.