Happy birthday to you, and to many years more! You say it’s just a day, no need for decor, but I say let’s eat some cake (and then let’s eat some more!), because why not celebrate the man I adore? While we should never take for granted those we would die for, we know those fairy tale scenarios are nothing but lore. So when given … Continue reading Happy Birthday, Mr. Grouch.
There’s so much work involved in just pretending to look like being a functional adult, it’s common to feel over-worked and under-appreciated. There’s a lot of aspects to adult life that really suck. Taking care of the bills, the trash, the dirty dishes, the piles of laundry. Cleaning up messes, picking up toys, and wiping up spills. Filling out the never-ending-Godforsaken work forms, the relentless (and often … Continue reading Marriage: It’s All About Teamwork (With a Dash of Competition)
When we first fall in love, we notice only the admirable qualities our partner possesses. Mother Nature has watched many a fool, in the beginning stages of a relationship, believe they have found True Perfection, and she has laughed her ass off each and every time at such naiveté. True Perfection in human character is nothing more than a fond illusion; for every superior quality, … Continue reading Spouses: If They’re Really Good At One Thing, They Really Suck At Something Else
During the honeymoon phase, relationships are easy. They are all adventure and excitement and newness. But as the years wear on, the excitement dies down and reality sets in. Here are some tips to ensure that you are giving your spouse what he or she needs, so the two of you can make it for the long haul. 1. Schedule your sexy time. Instead of … Continue reading 10 Tips For Sustaining A Long-Lasting Marriage
My dad is pretty awesome. Happy Father’s Day, Pa! Love ya. 1. Eat healthfully. Have an apple a day. Don’t eat just to eat. Enjoy cottage cheese as a delicious protein-punched snack. Except also love pizza. And love it with a passion. 2. Make smart financial decisions. Don’t overspend. Save, save, save. And then save some more. I didn’t follow this advice so well, however … Continue reading Traits I Inherited From My Dad
How to pick a mate – from the fairer sex perspective. 1) Pick someone bigger than you. It doesn’t matter what size you are, it matters how big you are compared to the person next to you. If you are 4′ 8″ and 79 lbs, you pick someone who’s at least 5′ 2″ and you’re good. If you’re 6′ 3″ and 330 lbs, go for … Continue reading 10 Key Pointers For Picking A Mate
Mr. Grouch and I met in 1997, my freshman year of college, his sophomore year. It didn’t take long for me to fall head over heels. At 18 years old, I knew he’d probably be the one I married, but we were young and foolish and we used to drive each other batshit crazy. We broke up a few times and after 4 years of … Continue reading Camping Trips As Spousal Screenings