I used to care, you guys. I used to REALLY care about my thighs. And sometimes my arms. If they weren’t as toned or as thin as I thought they ought to be, it really ruined my mood. I wasted a lot of good years being moody about a lot of stupid things, one of the biggies being my body. I’ve reached the point where I … Continue reading I’m Ten Pounds Overweight and I Cannot Be Bothered to Even Try to Lose Those Stupid Extra Pounds
Don’t forget. Where you put the keys. To get the milk. To turn off the lights. Don’t forget. To say words that are true. And kind. And to say them often. Don’t forget. To focus. On what’s important. On who’s important. Don’t forget. That inside, somewhere, Could be the monster that will erase the past. Know today, that … Continue reading Don’t Forget.
Flu season is upon us. Flu shots, Vitamin C and hot green tea with honey can help keep the symptoms at bay….for awhile. But, even if you lucked out before, at some point it is inevitable that the flu will wreak havoc through your household. Vaccines, vitamins and all-natural remedies (can I get a what what for my neti pot?) can support your immune system functions, … Continue reading Flu Season Preparedness Tips For Parents (Hint: You’re Screwed)
The office is the source of hope. But it brings with it, more. Fluid filled, cystic anxiety. Blood soaked uncertainty. Regression, after success. Loss. It brings stomach aches and heart palpitations. Emotions and exposed nerves that are scrubbed raw, to maintain sanitary conditions in the sterile environment. It’s a recurring nightmare that offers the promise of a dream. The office is the … Continue reading The Office Is The Only Hope
She had a monster inside her. He was shadowy and spiny and ran he laps around his home, inside of her heart. His talons took chunks out of her flesh as he stomped his feet on her. In her. The bristles on his back scraped and poked and gouged her insides as he turned and twisted. He dug in. He chomped at her flesh and … Continue reading The Monster’s Comforting Cloak
It’s no secret that Mr. Grouch and I have been trying for Baby Grouch #2. We’ve been “not not trying” since she was only a few months old, and we started seeing our reproductive endocrinologist again back in May. As we embarked on this journey for a second time, I told myself I’d maintain a positive attitude. That I wouldn’t get sucked back into a … Continue reading Secondary Infertility: What I’ve Been Telling Myself
My dad is pretty awesome. Happy Father’s Day, Pa! Love ya. 1. Eat healthfully. Have an apple a day. Don’t eat just to eat. Enjoy cottage cheese as a delicious protein-punched snack. Except also love pizza. And love it with a passion. 2. Make smart financial decisions. Don’t overspend. Save, save, save. And then save some more. I didn’t follow this advice so well, however … Continue reading Traits I Inherited From My Dad
I have vivid memories of Mr. Grouch, in his college apartment, during muggy summer months. I can picture him, stripped down to his whitie tighties, sprawled across his twin bed, with the oscillating fan one centimeter from his toes, the soggy air leaving him too lethargic to move. A sexy, sweaty, beast. The two of us are different in so many ways but in this way we are oh so much … Continue reading Parenting: Reasons to Panic #2: The Sleeping Newborn
I was recently contacted by a very friendly chap named Peter, who has turned some informative facts about sleep into exceedingly cute info-graphics. Not only does the data look accurate, but it is easy to read, properly succinct, and, most importantly, super cute. My personal favorite facts include: 1) Not getting enough sleep increases the risk of being overweight (which means I shall forever blame … Continue reading You Need Sleep!
One of my many night time ails is difficult to describe. We all know that the thesaurus is a girl’s best friend, however when describing this condition, I can hardly think of one accurate descriptor, let alone a synonym. Nevertheless, I’ll attempt to illustrate the symptoms and you start guessing what it is. Clue # 1: It is very strange. You might picture a circular … Continue reading Itchy…twitchy…..bitchy