Dream #2: A Vacation, A Bloody Knife and Mean Friends


I am on overnight vacation with 20+ people, some friends and some co-workers.  We are staying in a large cottage, and the weekend is over, so we are cleaning up and getting ready to leave.  There are tremendous amounts of food scraps (shredded carrots, zucchini, bread, onions) on the counter that I am putting into a garbage bag.  My coworker, we’ll call him Pete, comes into the cottage from outside, looks around guiltily and then tosses a bloody knife (one of my nice, sharp Cutco knives) into my garbage bag.  I worry that if the police find this, in my trash/cottage, I might be an accomplice to murder. While I am in the middle of cleaning I suddenly realize that the entire crew is waiting for me in a large Greyhound bus.  I walk up to the buys and they are all staring at me with incredibly evil looks.  They are all waiting for me and are impatient to get going.  It is going to be a several hour trip back, through the mountains. I try to explain I can’t leave the scraps of food on the counters or in the trash, as it will smell.  My dad is going to the cottage next week and he will not be happy if it smells like rotting food.  I am also still worried about the knife and do not want to leave the bloody utensil in the trash can in case the police come to investigate. All of this is going through my head, as my friends continue to eyeball me.  They are SO MAD. Everyone is being so mean to me that I cry.

Also mixed in somehow, during this entire time I am involved in a scheme supposedly helping young boys in Malawi. It is similar to the email scheme to send money to a millionaire in Nigeria – except snail mail instead of email.  I send MANY envelopes in blue post boxes.

At the end, I receive a call from my friend Arlene, who lives in Scotland, while watching a movie in a baroque theater – so I miss most of the movie.


BLOODY KNIFE: Okay, it was hard to find something specific, since  I wasn’t actually holding the knife, or cutting with the knife.  There was no entry for simply “bloody knife”.  So, we’ll just give up on that one, and here is a free plug for Cutco.  These knives ROCK.  They are super sharp.  My husband once cut right through an avocado pit and sliced his thumb in half.  It bled for days.  Disgusting?  Yes.  But, definitely a good advertisement for the effectiveness of their product.

SCRAPS OF FOOD:  Way of Tao suggests that foods such as vegetables indicate unknown gestation or not acknowledging growth within.  Well, I am quite sure I am not pregnant, so what other “growth within” could be happening in there?  Ooooh, maybe I absorbed my own twin in utero, and teeth or hair or other remnants of said twin are continuing to grow within me?  Or, do I have some kind of cancerous growth that will burst forth painfully in the future?  That seems much less fun.  I suddenly have the urge to get a CAT scan.

MEAN FRIENDS:  Dream Forth tells me that if my friends are troubled or upset they may be suffering from stress or illness.  Ah, finally an easy one. They are stressed.  I know this because most of my co-workers and friends are teachers and we are all stressed.  We deal with stressed kids and stressed parents and other stressed teachers, so the stress just sort of spreads out to everybody. This is one reason we tend to drink heavily.  My family has to deal with me, and sometimes my friends, which stresses them out.  So they drink.  On a positive note, the result of this stress-fest is that we now have a collective hobby and can go have a beer together at the cottage.

BAROQUE THEATER:  Not gonna lie, I didn’t even try looking this one up.  If you happen to check into it and find something amazing, let me know.

MALAWI:  None of the sites have an interpretation for what Malawi means.  I’m starting to think that there could be a very lucrative business, helping those who wish to discern the unique details of their dreams. Clearly, there is a gaping hole within the dream translation business that needs to be filled.

BLUE POST BOXES:  Dream Forth tells me that U.S. mail boxes mean someone might ask me to participate in unlawful activity.  I suppose I was asked, indirectly by Pete, to aid and abet his unlawful and bloody acts.  As for any future nefarious activity any of you might be plotting, it sounds like I’m your girl if you need some back up.

Dream # 1: Pregnant, Homeless Druggie, Gwyneth Paltrow

Dream #1:

I AM Gwyneth Paltrow (this is the first time I have been someone other than myself in a dream).  I am 7 months pregnant, with skinny, pale arms and a large protruding belly.  I am addicted to a non-existent drug and am living in a huge house with dozens of other homeless people.  We each have a sleeping bag and a few scavenged items and are all camped out in a large, open room. Naturally, there is a treadmill in this house, so I am running constantly (in between drug usage).  The belly doesn’t bother me, it is hard as a rock.  To survive, I steal food items, warm clothing and other necessities.


GWYNETH: I was disappointed to find that none of the dream dictionaries mentioned Gwyneth directly.

ARMS:  In my dream I/Gwyneth have pale, smooth, hairless arms (opposed to my more gorilla-like appendages) and according to the Way of Tao, her arms might represent my responsibilities.  However, if her arm is dysfunctional, that could mean I need to let go of something I have been holding on to.  Hm.  My first analysis and already I’m confused.  I mean, does dysfunctional mean the arm doesn’t work properly?  Or does it mean it isn’t mine?  And to let go of something could mean to literally stop carrying such a gigantic purse or it could mean to stop obsessing about my incredibly thick arm hair, right?  I need someone to provide me with a definition of the definition.

DRUGS:  According to Dream Moods, the drug usage indicates that I could want a quick fix to my problems or that I need an escape from reality.  I am pretty sure that is what it means it you take drugs.  You know, when you actually inject them into your veins, or inhale the smoke into your lungs, or pop the little beauties into your mouth, in real life.   I thought the dream interpretation was supposed to shed some light, illuminate something new.

HOMELESS:  Dream Moods also tells me that my/Gwyneth’s homelessness indicates I am feeling insecure.  Psh.  But, it says nothing about a homeless person who owns a treadmill.

PREGNANT:  Finally, some good news.  Dream Forth informs me that my (notice in this reference, it is solely ME, no Gwyneth) pregnancy means I am undergoing significant growth and development in my personal life.  Clearly there IS some truth to this dream interpretation business.

THEFT:  Dream Forth started out so positively.  Then, one quick search and suddenly there is a void in my life or I am reaching for unrealistic objectives.  I/Gwyneth was hungry.  I/She stole food.  Problem solved.  No need to be so pessimistic, Dream Forth.

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