I am living the happiest and most fulfilling life. I feel like the luckiest lady in the world. I also have major depressive disorder and that juxtaposition can be hard for some people to understand. Sometimes when I share information about how my depression manifests people are surprised. Others pity me, tell me they’re sorry, or get annoyed “hearing about how sad I am” (sidebar: … Continue reading A Dip.
Today I walked around my neighborhood – not the entire thing, but a circular loop around two blocks of houses. I knew it was a longer stretch than I can go without being kept up later tonight from nerve pain, but this morning I decided it was worth it. I needed to walk. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Campus Walk was scheduled for today … Continue reading A Painful Walk
September is Suicide Awareness Month. September is a designated time for us to share stories, resources, and awareness. Over 40,000 people a year in the U.S. die from suicide. That is a horrifically high number. I don’t know how many others suffer from depression and anxiety and grief as a result of those losses, but it seems like it must be astronomical. Here are a … Continue reading Have a Loved One Who is Struggling With Depression? Here Are The 5 Ways to Best Support Them.
It has happened again, and it will keep on happening, it seems, no matter what we try to do to prevent it. Another suicide hitting close to home. Unfortunately, when suicides occur there are some people who blame the victim. There are many who lash out in anger at the one who caused others pain by taking their own life. It’s understandable to be angry … Continue reading Think Suicide is Selfish? Here’s Why You’ve Got it Wrong.
I come with the hardest form of artillery. One is two and the other is four and they have small, smooth feet and cute tiny noses. They have the loudest of voices and the most beautiful of spirits. They bring giggles and hugs and peanut butter crackers. When I can juggle it all, I bring my strongest ammunition, but even when I do I know … Continue reading Dark Days
There was no horrific event, no jarring trauma. But one day during her teenage years she woke up and discovered she was a totally different her. The new her was no longer full of light, or love. She no longer housed any cheer or warmth or joy. For a while, she thought her old self had been replaced and she had been filled with hate … Continue reading Insides
There is no coming out of it. There is no getting over it. There is just IT. It ebbs and it flows and it morphs. It hides. It does not ever disappear. It teases, at times. It seems long gone. But, it is never really is. It always returns. With a vengeance. With a downward pull. It distorts. It deceives. It consumes. It tells you … Continue reading Depression Lies
1.They tend to have a genetic predisposition. Something in the brain is a little haywire, slightly imbalanced. Both are examples of invisible diseases. 2. They get a boatload of judgment. Both get the, “Aren’t you over that yet?” Both get unsolicited tips. “Just stop after one”. “Just get outside”. “Just appreciate what you have”. “Just get over it”. Rarely does any good advice begin with, “Just”. One … Continue reading 10 Ways Depressives and Drunks are Similar
She started walking two days after, running within a week. Each day she ran those miles faster! Physically, she would quickly peak. She ran to combat it, her becoming a disaster. She was afraid to bring it up, she was scared they would ask her. But even more afraid of that, she feared that they wouldn’t. They had to bring it up, she knew that she couldn’t. It … Continue reading The Six Week Check-Up
Not too long ago, one of my friends, who reads many of my blog posts, said to me that she was always, “reading about how sad you always are”. Her words rocked me back on my heels for a second, catching me off guard, for a number of reasons (it also made me think that all of those truly anonymous bloggers are really smart cookies). Even … Continue reading Depression ≠ Sadness