6 am:  Open up one eye when alarm goes off (as far as the crusts will allow).  Snarl at alarm.  Punch snooze.  Tell yourself, “I’ll never drink again!”  Shut eye. 6:15 am:  Open up one eye (make sure it’s the same one).  Sock the off button.  Dig out crusts.  Put feet on floor and pad to the bathroom.  Make sure you’re hunched over.  Snarl at … Continue reading How to Achieve the 4 p.m. Miracle