Dear Second Child,
Yes, the first child has so many photos. So many intricate descriptions in the baby book. So many mementos. So many journal and blog posts oohing and awwing over them.
As the second, you might feel a little neglected. Where are my eight million photos categorized by month? Where’s my blog post about the first coo or the first “Mama!” or the first taste of a lemon?
My first inclination is to apologize. However, that would imply we had some sort of choice in the matter. You want the truth? Well, kid. We were just busier after having you. It’s as simple as that. And some of the things we wrote about the first time are the same with you. So, we already wrote about it. What about all the comparing? The second is nothing like the first, you might have heard. In some ways that is true, and in some ways it isn’t. We don’t usually feel the need to discuss the ways it isn’t. We already discussed the parts that are the same the first time.
But, don’t think about it too much. Don’t over-analyze. Don’t worry. We love you. Just as much as your older sibling. You might think I have to say that to you, but guess what? I DON’T. I don’t have to say anything to you. There are trillions of choices of word combinations I could put together and shoot your way every day.
Everything I say to you, I mean.
And you might think, “How is it possible? How can you love me the same?”
And my answer is, “I have no idea. It is a biological mystery, how it works, but I swear to you, it just IS”. One moment we look at our oldest and we think, she might be the most beautiful person on the entire planet. And then we blink and look at you and think, she might be the most beautiful person on the entire planet, even if the two of you physically look absolutely nothing alike and, at least at times, act nothing alike. These thoughts may not always come to us within seconds of each other, or even hours of each other, but believe me, they happen. In equal amounts.
We don’t always love you in all the same WAYS but we love you the EXACT SAME AMOUNT.
Here are a few examples of how that makes sense in our heads:
|Sibling One||Sibling Two||Our Thoughts|
|She’s so calm.||She’s so energetic.||That trait will REALLY benefit her in the future. (And, wouldn’t you know it, when she wants to be, she’s damn good at being energetic/calm too. Impressive!)|
|She’s so serious.||She’s so goofy.||She’s so great.|
|She hardly complains.||She complains loudly!||What strength she has! It’s so hard to not complain/speak your mind. She will use this to her advantage in life.|
|She giggles.||She guffaws.||She has a good sense of humor. She is happy.|
|She has an innie.||She has an outie.||She has the cutest belly button. Poke!|
|She observes by looking.||She observes by touching.||She is such a good observer.|
|She likes to be held.||She likes her back rubbed.||She’s able to connect with others.|
|She pauses.||She dives right in.||She’s wise.|
|She whispers.||She yells.||She communicates.|
|She paddles.||She splashes.||She swims.|
|She loves her sister.||She loves her sister.||May they work together and complement their strengths and create the greatest force ever to be reckoned with.|
|She knows how to push my buttons.||She knows how to push my buttons.||She is not a lightweight. She will be able to hold her own.|
|She is my first.||She is my second.||She is my only her. She awakens me, livens me, fills me up. She is my child.|
|She surprises me.||She surprises me.||She is who she makes herself, not who I think she is or will be. She consistently proves to be a better person than I could ever imagine anyone could possibly be.|
Love you, Second Child. Love you forever.