I feel the cool breeze on my skin and the sunlight on my brow and I am elevated. Rejuvenated. I am Light. But I was not meant to be this way. I was designed to be heavy. Dark. I was made to melt into the concrete when the sun hits my face. I was made to hide under the covers and be unable to lift them … Continue reading I Am Light
My girls have not yet experienced A Loss. One of the big, impacting ones. Even I – who have experienced significant losses – am still privileged to have My Biggest Losses be a future event. Today marks the three year anniversary of A Loss in our family. It was not someone my children knew well. They don’t fully understand the circumstances surrounding The Loss, or … Continue reading Showing Up: A Lesson
I am living the happiest and most fulfilling life. I feel like the luckiest lady in the world. I also have major depressive disorder and that juxtaposition can be hard for some people to understand. Sometimes when I share information about how my depression manifests people are surprised. Others pity me, tell me they’re sorry, or get annoyed “hearing about how sad I am” (sidebar: … Continue reading A Dip.
I’m a high school teacher and a parent of elementary-aged children. All of us have been participating in school 100% online since March. Every day is an adventure. But some adventures are more exciting than others and today was an exceptionally interesting experience. The day started out well, because the night before I made sure that the kids got all of their school materials ready. … Continue reading Get a Glimpse: Online Learning, Today’s Version
We’re on week three of online learning. Me, as a high school teacher, and my children, as 1st and 3rd grade students. Everything is crazy and takes longer than usual as all three of us are utilizing every possible mode of technology during every single minute of the school day. I’m Zooming, screensharing, document cameraing, backchanneling, emailing, snapchatting, texting, recording, creating, saving, and feedbacking all … Continue reading This is What Online Learning Actually Looks Like
She was a collector. A saver. A pack rat. She saved the smell of bubble gum breath and cinnamon-scented hair, of coconut detangler and Vicks Vaporub. She stockpiled the feel of soft, tiny toes pressed gently against her lips. Of monkey-like legs wrapped around her waist. She had a impressive collection of uppies and lay-with-mes and an infinite number of one-two-three-whees. She saved snippets of … Continue reading She Was a Hoarder
Today I walked around my neighborhood – not the entire thing, but a circular loop around two blocks of houses. I knew it was a longer stretch than I can go without being kept up later tonight from nerve pain, but this morning I decided it was worth it. I needed to walk. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Campus Walk was scheduled for today … Continue reading A Painful Walk
This fucking hip. Four years ago I had hip surgery for a torn labrum, and while that issue was corrected, I’ve been pretty much in a post-surgical nightmare ever since. A new problem immediately emerged, nerve pain that runs down the front of my thigh – and I’ve been getting the run around for the last four years – juggling hip surgeons, physical therapists, osteopathic … Continue reading Comfortably Numb
A few days ago, my daughter asked if she could go with me to my doctor appointment. Even though I had fantasized about a silent ride, maybe with a stop on the way to pick up a coffee, I agreed that she could come.After checking my weight (too high) and blood pressure (also too high), the nurse handed me two slips of paper. I started … Continue reading Here’s What You Need to Know About Digging Yourself Out of A Depressive Rut
I’ve been picturing the I finished book since I started this blog – using it as a mental image to keep myself going during the book writing process. The time has come and gone. The book is done! I’ve learned, however, that whenever I say the book is done, I find more things to fix and then it’s done again and then I fix again … Continue reading YIAYIA AND PAPOU – The Book! An Excerpt and a Quiz to Find Out if You Need to Read it:
A Morning Grouch 