The Office Is The Only Hope

The office is the source of hope.

But it brings with it, more.

 

Fluid filled, cystic anxiety.

Blood soaked uncertainty.

Regression, after success.

Loss.

 

It brings stomach aches and heart palpitations.

Emotions and exposed nerves that are scrubbed raw,

to maintain sanitary conditions in the sterile environment.

 

It’s a recurring nightmare that offers the promise of a dream.

The office is the source of hope.

But, it is not free for the taking.

 

You must pay, with more than only money or time.

You pay with undignified prods and pokes and pills.

With screams and moans that are saved for later.

With tears that are held back and with some that escape.

With exhaustion.

 

And even with a visceral reaction to the office itself, you keep going back.

It’s where you hate to be

and want to be

and must be.

Because the office is the only hope.

Waiting room

The Reproductive Endocrinologist’s Office Is The Only Hope For Those Dealing With Infertility (Photo credit: Melissa Venable)

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12 thoughts on “The Office Is The Only Hope

  1. Catching up. This is so darkly beautiful and so spot on true. I hate the office and yet love the office. You are a source of hope.

  2. Pingback: The Office Is The Only Hope | You're going DOWN, infertility!

  3. Oh. My. God.
    Not that this is about me, but I really related to this, SO MUCH and want to share…I hope that’s okay. So I used to be so married to my job. I loved it. Loved it loved it. Defined myself by it, and was important because of it. Then, I got another job because that one was bought by the enemy. I hated it but I couldn’t believe how much they paid me and so I loved it because I was important. Again. Then, I got pregnant, and scared and on bedrest and was 40. I quit my job 4 minutes after my son was born. then, when he was 3 1/2, I went “back” but only part time b/c he’s delayed and in speech therapy and blah blah blah I wanted to be here because I knew I’d miss it if I went back. I took an hourly rate that I don’t even know how to calculate from my former salary but know that I’ll make less this year than my last bonus was. And yet, I LOVE THE OFFICE> I love being a part of it and I want to be there. And yet I hate it, because this week, my son has pink eye and I am ill and I wonder why I pay a sitter too much while I go make too little. And sorry for basically writing a whole post there. this totally spoke to me. obviously….

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