Here is a list of my pregnancy transformations so far:
1. I’M A SASQUATCH: Okay, disclaimer: I have always been a hairy girl – with hairy arms and hairy eyebrows. Have you seen my 7th grade picture yet? HAIRrendous. So, naturally I married a beautiful Greek man, who has big brown eyes, a strong jaw, and very healthy hair follicles. In other words, a true man. Hair growth occurs in cycles, and falls out in cycles. This balance of growing in and falling out results in you ending up with a relatively constant amount of hair. BUT. Fun pregnancy fact: Hormone changes result in less of the falling out phase. Which means….SASQUATCH hairiness ensues. All I can say is I am glad I had a tad bit of laser hair removal in the past – and I can totally see mommy-daughter hair removal sessions in my future.
2. I’M SLEEPING WELL: Ok, that’s sort of a lie. BUT, I’m sleeping better. Even though I’m still waking up constantly throughout the night, to pee, to guzzle my liter of water I keep on my night stand, to move my restless legs, or just …. because….I still have felt more rested, and I have noticed a significant reduction in the number of dreams I’ve had. My husband has zero issues sleeping or feeling rested (even though I am quite sure he has sleep apnea – he has broken his nose several times and not corrected the break, so he cannot breathe through his nose – and I can hear him snoring, and his breathing stop and then re-start all night long).
3. MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS WHERE IT SHOULD BE: Even though I work out regularly, maintain a relatively healthy diet and am within the normal range for body weight, my blood pressure has been pretty damn high for about 5 years. So, I’ve been on blood pressure meds for that time (which, I will point out, coincidentally matches up with about the same length of time I’ve been married. Coincidence? Hah). Even with the meds, my blood pressure has still been a little higher than the standard metric of 120/80 – more along the lines of 135/85. My husband, however, who works out some, who eats healthy sometimes, has always had incredibly good numbers in the diastolic and systolic department – usually around 117/70. Now that I’m pregnant, my blood pressure has been matching his. Maybe it’s the new pregnancy-friendly meds, maybe it’s lowered stress, or maybe it’s the 2nd trimester honeymoon period, where blood pressure tends to drop a bit anyway. Since I’m considered high risk due to the blood pressure history, let’s hope that keeps up!
4. I’M A COUCH POTATO: During my first trimester I was instructed by my doctor to not work out and to sit on the couch. At first this was due to several large ovarian cysts on my left ovary, a side-effect of the fertility drugs. The cysts were so big that when the doctor first saw them in the ultrasound, he thought they were on my right ovary – but in reality the weight of the cysts had dragged my left ovary to that side. Later in the trimester I had some significant bleeding (scary!) and was put on “couch rest”. Which my husband LOVED since his favorite hobby is watching t.v. and movies. Now I am working out, but not nearly as much as before, and am resting more than ever.
5. I GAG WHEN I BRUSH MY TEETH: My husband can only use one type of toothpaste. Most toothpastes make him gag, which I always thought was really odd. Even the one that he can tolerate will occasionally make him gag; I have heard him at the sink and it kind of creeps me out. We have our own separate toothpastes in our own drawers. But now, I can only use HIS toothpaste – all of the other toothpastes make ME gag. Even his does, sometimes. I really can’t complain though, as this is the closest I have gotten to morning sickness throughout my pregnancy.
6. I HAVE A BELLY: It’s not a huge round basketball belly yet, but my goodness is it bigger than before. MUCH BIGGER. Crap, it might be as big as his….
7. HOSTESS DONETTES: What?! Who eats those things? I mean, besides my husband? Fake, processed, bite-sized packaged donuts with a hard, waxy chocolate coating, that could probably last for decades without molding. Typically if I am going to go for a processed goody, I’ll choose something like Cool Ranch Doritos, or Pretzel and Cheddar Combos or cheddar popcorn. Something salty. Apparently this baby has my husband’s taste buds.
8. I’M GASSY: I’m pretty sure all husbands are gassy. But I never understood how guys could just fart. All. Day. Long. And special ones in the morning. Until now. Now, I get it. It just can’t be stopped.